What. The. Heck. Are You Seriousing Me With This?

So, my Grandma texted me yesterday asking me if I had some free time to make some cookies for the Tea Party that we are going to on Saturday. I of course said yes because I am not a total butt-hole. She asks me what I needed for it and I said sugar, flour, eggs, baking powder, and butter.

She comes over to my house with all that stuff EXCEPT

Butter

She comes over with Parkay. Thank G-d I had some other sticks of butter in my fridge.
Do you know what the first ingredient in Parkay is?!?! OIL!!!! It is OIL!!! IS OIL BUTTER?!?!?! NO IT IS NOT! OIL IS NOT THE SAME THING AS BUTTER!!

If you are at a party and you are on a diet. Don't eat the pastries. Seriously. But don't try and fool yourself into thinking pastries can be made "healthy." They can't. And, if they ever are, I want no part of it.

Then she let me know that she actually needed 3 dozen cookies for other parties she was going to. But, that is beside the point.


Oil is not butter.

And, anyone with a tongue can tell the difference.

And here is Tank and Panzer snuggling:

"You can't date the guy now that you lied"

I'm watching, right now, for the first time ever an episode of "Sex and the City." It's completely ridiculous but my husband drove my car today to work and I'm stuck at home.

Basically, the "question" of the episode is whether or not it's better to tell the truth in relationships or keep secrets of horrible/bad things you've done. Be it in your past or present or things you intend on doing in the future.

I have lived in and traveled to lots of different countries and dated a guy in all of those countries (except Singapore.) I can say, with relative certainty that there are some exceptions but for the most part, that whole topic of lying in a relationship is pretty culturally based. Whether or not you do I mean.

I've heard a lot of arguments for and against telling the truth but these are the two basic ones:

1) Telling the truth to your partner is selfish and you deserve to suffer with the guilt of your horrible secret rather than hurting your innocent partner
or
2) The innocent partner deserves to know what you did, (aka: telling the truth is the "right" thing to do)

I have found that the older the culture is, the more secret-y things are. Also, more Asian/Middle Eastern.

All I know, is that I have developed my personal preference over the years and that is to first of all, not cheat on my partner. That in and of it's self takes away a lot of things you would need to keep a secret about.

At the end of the episode, they guy said "I just wish I didn't know about this." Yea, I know how he feels.

My ex-husband cheated on me, with an 18 year old girl, just out of high-school. He left his secret Facebook open that displayed his status as single. There was emails between then ALL OVER THE PLACE that were *ahem* indecent. I found texts too. Just like, out there. Every where.

After (March 5th 2009 aka: The best day of my entire freaking life) I recovered and got my self together and got back out on the market. My new opinion of the subject of secrets was to stick my fingers in my ears and be like "LA LA LA LA LA LA I CAAAAAAAN'T HEEEEAR YOOOOOOOU!"

I'm re-married now, and that being said, now and in my past the person who was with me at the time and now needs to be the master of discretion. If they were/are doing anything they need to keep a secret about; they need to be not having odd phone numbers on their phones or in their pockets, taking showers and not smelling like sex, selectively deleting numbers out of their phones, and letting me see the phone if I want to and just generally not be a creepy creeperson about everything.

Please allow me to go one step further though and suggest something radical. How about we as human beings consider our actions and decisions and their consequences on our partners BEFORE we do stuff. What a novel idea. That way we don't have to keep horrible secrets from people.

Did I just blow your mind? I hope not. I hope you already knew this.

Tank is hiding in my leg because secrets make him sad.